Pukuriri - Hori
About the work
Woven canvas print
600mm x 900mm
For many years behind the smiles and relaxed personality I’ve hid an anger that in my youth could consume me to the point where I would become physically abusive. It didn’t matter if you were my friend or brother my bad temper was noted by many but especially in my whanau.
During my teens and twenties this anger would lay dormant for many years only popping out in some cases when it was needed, more in a fight or flight situations. Although it got me out of a few sticky situations, in my mind I knew I didn’t want to go back to being that person.
Now in my 30s, especially in the last few years, I have felt this anger returning not physically but definitely more verbally. In the last few months it has become very apparent to me and my partner that I seriously needed help.
In the last few months I have started to see a counsellor to work through some issues and take steps to know the signs and strategies to deal with my anger. During these sessions I have learned that it’s my ego that gets inflamed and it’s this voice that tends to snap and bite anyone’s head off that gets in the way.
I have realised that a lot of this anger stems from my relationship with my father and more recently my older brother. I have also noticed that my children (especially one of our kotiro / girl) share the same fiery character that I have and I want them to be better equipped than I was and not carry this same burden or cycle of anger throughout their life.
This piece was made and woven by my ego.
Puku is the Maori word for stomach this is where my anger lives (represented by my father’s karu or eye within my daughters puku) My ego is represented by tape over the waha or mouth where my ego has a voice. The heart represents Aroha or love which surrounds me. In the bottom left my son’s image represents the future and the end of this cycle and hopefully the end of my journey and ultimately the silencing and demise of my ego
To my beautiful whanau I am sorry and I will work harder to be a better partner, father and person for you,
If you have an ego like mine that needs to be attended to, please reach out (kaua e whakama) don’t be shy or even worse be too proud (trust me that’s your ego talking).
It will not be a quick fix but you have to take the first steps.
About the artist
An artist, ceramicist and curator, Ana has been exhibiting since 2014.
Ana has art and ceramics in private collections all over the world. She exhibited as a solo artist in 2018 at Waikato Museum, Artspost and is a permanent exhibitor and curator at Waihi Beach Gallery.
She is also a human rights advocate and known international author on responsibilities of states.